It’s time to let go… Leave it, let it go, it’s time to move on.
Days, weeks and months are passing. As a family, we have better and worse days. There is a lot happening. Our son autism and working with kids at the end of ASD spectrum made me realize how much more has to be done. How many people will never know anything about life of those kids? It’s hard for me to accept it, but unfortunately, this is the direction people are choosing.
Parents, therapists, teachers with a mission in their heart have one thing in common. Sometimes we are feeling helpless.
For me, letter A doesn’t stand for Autism. It stands for Acceptance. Ironically it comes along with Helplessness.
You will ask me how is it possible. It’s necessary, letting yourself feel helpless is the most difficult thing but it’s the only way to stay sane. Accept the fact that not always you will have control over everything that happens with your child. Yes, you will feel stripped out of power million times. Believe me.
What after? How should you deal with it?
Recently I came to a conclusion that there is nothing wrong in admitting that I have no clue what to do next. Sometimes I don’t know the solution but I am not letting helplessness to stop me. As a father of an autistic child, as a rock’n’roll guy with colorful past, I had many chances to feel like that. Damn yes, bloody unarmed. It’s a terrible feeling. Think about it. It sucks! Isn’t it?
After all, I understood that I need to learn how to accept it. I am not talking about making myself numb, it’s about embracing it, shaking off and moving on without unnecessary weight on your shoulders.
Acceptance is an important word – at the end of the day, that’s how is starting series of videos Alphabet of Autism. Helplessness is the word which makes you tremble with fear. Word followed by strong painful emotions. Why am I writing about it? It’s time to let it go, throw it out of myself, get read of it. Before it will eat me alive.
I felt defenseless plenty of times. At home, at work, and in my life. Every single time I wanted to help those kids, make their lives better I could feel this feeling following me. I was bothered by it, I couldn’t let this feeling inside me. It was almost like a fear from admitting that I have no clue what to do now. Fear of defeat. Especially when it’s all about your own child. Love is the biggest ally of helplessness.
Sometimes you have to drop the ball, understand that even as a parent you can’t control every aspect of your life. You have to accept it. Helplessness sucks! However, by learning how to quickly get over it you are reducing the risk of being crushed by all of it. It’s all about keeping balance. There are months when helplessness is finding us once for a time, there are times when we are having a crazy dance with it almost every day.